Welcome to episode 18! Prue and Rocky have a great show for you today. They’ve been up late working, but they’re both ready to help you change your negative thinking.
[02:27] Prue asks Rocky for his quote to kick off the show, but today Rocky has two quotes for us, the first from Zig Ziglar:
“You can not perform consistently in a manner which is inconsistent with how you see yourself.”
and the second from Robert Cialdini:
“The strongest need in the human personality is to remain consistent with how we’ve defined ourselves.”
Rocky tells us that our self-concept is the foundation of the quality of our lives.
[06:39] Rocky outlines some definitions of belief and the meeting of knowledge and emotion. Our thoughts are fuelled by our beliefs, so when we have positive or negative thoughts it impacts how we feel. Thus when we act on those beliefs they feed back into our feelings. Rocky gives us an example of when he’s seen this happen.
[11:20] Rocky informs us of what he believes is misinformation about changing your internal script. Just repeating positive affirmations, although it’s popular, is not effective. Rocky has a corollary to that which is that this is only helpful if you believe those things, and if you don’t believe it then positive affirmations can have the opposite effect.
[15:37] So how do you change the negative beliefs? Rocky gives us his process, refined over many years from his Accidental Counsellor Training, the first step is
1. Identify negative belief
Rocky recommends that you find exactly what your negative belief is and write it down, so that it’s really clear. The next step is
2. Change the focus
Rocky helps us imagine shrinking and removing that negative experience through imagination role-playing. The final step is to
3. Imagine yourself and how you would feel if you didn’t have that negativity around you.
[24:13] Prue asks if this changes the negative feedback pattern described earlier. Rocky tells us that we need to interrupt that pattern at the point of behaviour. If we keep doing what we’ve always done, we’re going to keep getting the results we’ve always got. Getting different results will give us a new experience.
[25:38] Rocky tells us about a study undertaken by Martin Seligman, where he spoke to a variety of depressed people and asked them what they would do on this day if they were not depressed. He found later on that simply imagining that scenario helped people start the journey out of depression.
[32:33] Prue wraps up the episode and Rocky leaves us with a final quote from Dr. David Lake
“What’s most personal is most universal.”
Thank you for listening! If you liked this episode or any others then please give us a review!